Heartbroken

 Hello, Little One,

I'm sorry to report that you're still not more than a dream. I was sure this time. I've been happier than usual, annoyingly so and craving spicy food more than anything else. I was even looking into fun ways to tell your aunts, your dad.

Another negative.

It's terrible timing still, I know. I'm less than a month away from going to Kankakee and we don't have a place of our own, but God, did I want you to be here so badly. I don't know how long it's been since I've cried like this.

I shouldn't have let myself get so caught up without knowing for sure. I only disappointed myself and now your dad is going to be upset when he gets home, sees me sobbing in the living room.

Hey, at least I got most of the Christmas presents wrapped, right? Yay me.

I will see you one day and that day will be the best day of my life. You mark my words, Little One. I can't wait to be your mama.

I love you so much.