December Update

 Hello, Little One,

I finally connected my keyboard to the Surface your papa got me for Christmas!

In the past few days, I've had pain in my left side. Almost like cramps. I'm trying really hard to not let my hopes get too high again.

On a slightly different note, my Christmas-time depression seems to be gone. For now. I've been writing up a storm. Queen Nora is screaming at me to finally finish this part of her story.

I have about a month before I leave my store here in Romeoville and go to train at Kankakee. It's just for six months and I know it'll fly by, but I still can't help being sad that I'm leaving. I'll miss Mel, Kelly, Dawnie. And the next year is still such a big question mark that it's really scary when I let myself think about it.

I can tell you one thing though. When you become a tangible thing and not just an imaginary pen pal, they are all going to be happy. I don't think you understand how much you'll be loved. You'll be loved by the craziest people and you'll never have to doubt where you belong.

P.S -

I hope you have my love of puzzles. I just finished a 750-piecer today.

Heartbroken

 Hello, Little One,

I'm sorry to report that you're still not more than a dream. I was sure this time. I've been happier than usual, annoyingly so and craving spicy food more than anything else. I was even looking into fun ways to tell your aunts, your dad.

Another negative.

It's terrible timing still, I know. I'm less than a month away from going to Kankakee and we don't have a place of our own, but God, did I want you to be here so badly. I don't know how long it's been since I've cried like this.

I shouldn't have let myself get so caught up without knowing for sure. I only disappointed myself and now your dad is going to be upset when he gets home, sees me sobbing in the living room.

Hey, at least I got most of the Christmas presents wrapped, right? Yay me.

I will see you one day and that day will be the best day of my life. You mark my words, Little One. I can't wait to be your mama.

I love you so much.

Christmas Miracle Baby?

 Hello, Little One,

Yesterday was Christmas. According to Pinterest, if I conceive right now:

1.) You'll be a girl

2.) You'll be born in September.

All I know is if you are conceived right now, you'll be my little miracle Christmas baby. Maybe a little wink from your grandma.